Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day in the real world.

  Have you ever felt like one of those guys in an action adventure movie who jumps across a giant chasm only to grab the other side by a fingertip? And as the worn out strong man slowly pulls himself up the sheer cliff the bad guy jumps across only to grab the good guy's leg, pulling him off the cliff again. The good guy hanging onto the cliff trying to shake off the bad guy, who has an iron grip on his foot, pulling him down.
  In the movie the good guy always either
A. gets pulled up by a helping hand, or
B. finds a way to shake the bad guy off. The good guy always wins.

  What happens in real life?
  According to family law, children have very few rights.
  They are divided like property. Even when they are sick they are deprived of seeing their Mother. It doesn't matter...To the courts, the judges, or the ex. The kids are at the mercy of an imposed order by an impartial judge. The ex can dangle the children like carrots to a hungry horse.
  Their educational and emotional needs are not considered.

  The law protects the scam artists and the devious-minded. They know how to use the laws to their favor. They always win because the non-devious minds don't adequately protect themselves. They innocently believe, and have faith, that the law will protect them.
  It does not matter if you live in a 3 million dollar mansion.... If you are not earning income, you are not required to pay child support.
  The family has, unfortunately, depended on this child support for years and assumes it will be there until the children are 18.
  Just as swiftly as the ex left the family, he also gives a two week "heads up" that there will be no more child support.

  I hear these stories all the time..... The man has emptied the bank accounts and moved to a secret location before alerting the unknowing wife and children of his intention to file for divorce. Some have other families they already started and put the money into their girlfriend's account.

  After a few years you learn and regain your self respect. You become strong and weary of the constant badgering, text messages, and abusive emails. You put more space between you and the ex. You do everything you can to have as little contact with him as possible. Stay away at all costs.

  Then "WHAM!" Another blow...
  If there are no bruises or physical abuse, then there is no problem according to the court.
  You are told, "You can't take an ex to court for being an asshole."
  You have been warned by numerous individuals in various professions that he will get worse and do more as the years progress.

  The further away the ex wife gets, the more determined he is to get her attention. "Look at me".... "I'm important!"
  Turn the other cheek, ignore him, don't read the emails, don't have contact at all.
  That helps for a few minutes, sometimes even a day.

  But Wham! More blows....

  You see the damage to the children, and there is nothing you can do about it. According to the courts and the law, there is no problem. The numbers are all that matters. Percentages of time, earnings, etc.... Not the lives of small people.
  The children will need therapy for the rest of their lives. More damage will occur. You know this and cannot stop it from happening.
  Denial is a blessed attribute! The ex wives do not live in denial any longer. They KNOW what will happen. And the law does not protect the children or the ex wives. They hold tight and brace themselves for the next blow.
It always comes.....


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